Friday, March 18, 2016

Migraine Catch-22

Say you want to be a blogger, but you have severe migraines 12 or more days a month. Maybe you want to be a teacher, but you suffer from 3 or more migraine days a week. Or what if you want to get into a regular workout schedule, but your migraines prevent you from getting into any kind of rhythm at all. Welcome to Migraine Catch-22!
[Catch-22
noun
a dilemma or difficult circumstance from which there is no escape because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions.
"a catch-22 situation"
synonyms:dilemma, quandary, vicious circle;]

I've suffered from migraines due to a traumatic brain injury (TBI) for over 30 years. I've had good and bad years, good and bad months, good and bad weeks and days. But, through the years it has become increasingly difficult to escape the sink hole that is caused by my condition. I've held many jobs, some of which I was considered to be at the top of my profession. I've published poetry, have a design patent, and garnished many awards doing the things that I love best. But through it all I was unable to shake off the vicious circle caused by my migraines. 

Migraine is an especially debilitating disease, for several reasons, not the least of which is that it is mostly an invisible illness. On a good day, I can be seen cutting grass or working in the yard, shopping or running errands, and even hanging at the beach with friends. On a bad day, you won't see me at all! If you bother to look, you'll find me hiding in complete darkness from light, sound, and smell. I'll be the one under the blankets, pillow on my head which is wrapped in ice packs. I may be asleep, if I'm lucky. But, more often than not, I'm totally awake suffering pain and depression, while my brain whirls thinking about anything and everything but the pain. 


When I'm down, my brain cranks out the best of ideas for my blog, which I soon forget as my thoughts race in another direction trying to outrun the pain. And when I'm up, there are millions of things to do, places to go, and people to see. All of which seem better than sitting inside,at the computer, trying to remember that perfect article which was left in the dust a few days before. That's Catch-22!