A good day brings us out into the world of those living a normal life and shows others what we really look like. This is the face we're supposed to have all the time. If we're lucky, we have back to back good days. Days of relief that allow us to open our eyes, sniff the air, and realize the beauty of the day. But, there are those days...
It is said, that without the bad, we wouldn't realize how good GOOD really is. Our heads would rather not have to make this distinction. We put on a mask to hide behind. On this surface the pain and anguish that lingers beneath are hidden from view. We may look to be normal, but we carry the scars of the pain and sometimes even from pain that lingers from therapy. If you look, you'll notice the squinted eyes behind the foster grants. You'll notice the pursed lips and the droop of face and limbs. The demon grabs our attention from the inside out. Maybe at first we can hold the look of pain at bay. We can look like a normal person, but underneath the facade the brute hammers away.
It lurks, and bides the time. It WILL attack our pain receptors and distort our features and perceptions. Fiendishly, the migraine scalds our senses. It hits so hard the ripples on the face cannot be ignored any longer. The monster takes over our faces, bodies, speech, and gait. It interferes with our ability to see, to touch, to taste. The taste of life changes in our mouths, our eyes, and ears till it is unrecognizable. We may be altered physically and the difference obvious to our friends and loved ones. The "Monster Face" darkens our own faces till we lose the human features that are our own.
This is the face of migraines.
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What a moving post. It's true that we have different faces that we put up for the world, but the pain overtakes us to the point where we become unrecognizable to even ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI feel as though I was reading a story I could have written myself. Thank you for putting words to my own daily experiences. It's nice to not feel so alone.
ReplyDeleteKathleen
Jamie and Kathleen, Thanks for the words of encouragement. I too, feel like we all have different faces that we show the world. Especially when we are in pain.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post! Sometimes I need to confirm to myself that this is true, this is happening (for already 15 years) and for some people, this is "normal". Sometimes I am sure of what my face tells to others, but sometimes, it is so hard.
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